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Wednesday, July 18, 2012

It's Frickin' Hot up Herrrre

Hot up, so hot up here! So hot up, hot, up!
With too much of, hot hot, and more of, hot hot
Just too much of, just too much of,
Just too much bit of, just too much of

I am like, good gracious, Maine’s spacious
Ocean-acious, one of the cold places
I'm wondr’in where’s the air mass to move this heat, you know
It better bring in a t-storm real soon, or
I'm leaving, please believing, oh!
Won’t come back ‘til the rest of the seasons
No joke, I got plenty of reasons
Hot house, hot kids, car I driving
No denying, can’t wear long sleeves and
No lying, I need temps to
Drop down down to the seventies
Save this girl from her sweating pores
Cause I feel like a puddle of juice
And I feel like offing myself, uh uh
And my bathing suit can serve as the noose
I’ve stretched it out so it’s loose. I said….

[Chorus]
It's been so hot up here, so hot, I wanna take off all my clothes
I won’t, unless it’s dark, but I wanna take my clothes off
It's been so hot up here, so hot, I wanna take off all my clothes
I won’t, unless it’s dark, but I wanna take my clothes off

Uh, uh, uh, get your hand fan out!

Why the heat up here if this ain’t the tropics? c'mon
What good is muggy heat if they ain’t no palm trees
I have my fans, just plain fans, ain’t got no a/c
And I see one hundred on the ‘mostat, Fahrenheit in degrees
Get that sun out the sky, bring in the clouds and the rain
Cool breeze, shake trees, let’s just cool it


Parkas and gloves, have ‘em out and ready
I sweat buckets get cranky yeah I can’t take it
Sticky, sleepless, frying eggs on pavement
Wear tank tops, no other option
But my arms are too round and pale for that action
Prefer to leave ‘em hidden under a cardigan
That thing’s got me hot and botherin’
My face has a sheen that makes my mirror wince
My makeup streaks down my cheeks as sweat is beading
Yells "Girl you need some Pond’s moist wipes!"

[Chorus]

I am all sweated out
Dab a little bit of
Mop a little bit of
Let it just sweat out
Dab a little bit of
Mop a little bit of
Let it sweat all out
Mop a little bit of
Hand fan some of that
Let it just sweat out
I hate it when it’s, ah
Hot, please make it

Stop blazing, sun scorching
I need a home reno to add central a/c, what?
I'm penny-pinching like Wal-Mart, oh
But this might force me to it
Congress, Congress, eh, drop my taxes, oh please
Abby’s kids can’t sleep in sweat pools no more
Gotta get cool for the quality sleep, complete with snores
Or she’ll be tired-hot, so homicidal, oh

[Chorus; x2]

I am all sweated out
Dab a little bit of
Mop a little bit of
Let it just sweat out
Dab a little bit of
Mop a little bit of
Let it sweat all out
Mop a little bit of
Hand fan some of that
Let it just sweat out
I hate it when it’s, ah
Hot, please make it [STOP!]


2 comments:

  1. Abby that was incredible. Who knew all those years listening to your Country Grammar CD would come in handy for the blog!

    ReplyDelete