A reader asked me why I don't do Friday Favorites. Kind of funny question, because she asked me to talk about why I don't do Friday Favorites in my Dear Abby column. Which I post on Fridays. Clearly, this is a woman who can't be pleased: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO MY DEAR ABBY COLUMN ON FRIDAYS AND DO A FRIDAY FAVORITES ON FRIDAYS? What does she think I am -- some type of writing machine that can churn out TWO blog posts on a single day? Jeez. Creativity doesn't grow on trees, my dear.
But just this once, I am going to cover both of these bases. I'm going to do it by making today's Dear Abby post one in which I share a few of my favorite things. See how I did that? I'm mooshing two concepts together in a single post. Someone, give me an honorary MFA!
Favorite Self-Promoting News.
Everyone get excited. I am going to be writing regularly for HelloGiggles, an online literary anthology for the pop culture ages. My posts will be up on Saturdays (starting tomorrow!), and I think they'll run every week. My topic will be Hollywood "news," and it will be presented in the format I first tested with all of you: Now That.... So thank you for being such wonderful guinea pigs, and thank you in advance for reading more Now Thats over at HelloGiggles!
Favorite Business Idea.
Everyone get excited again. Especially the parents of children aged 0-12 who haven't seen a decent movie in 0-12 years. Wouldn't it be awesome if movie theaters had a child-care room? Your kids could play and eat popcorn and watch a movie or something while you spend 90 minutes or so enjoying a movie on the big screen, as Harvey Weinstein and nature intended? Someone with deep pockets and more energy than me, go out and get this done. Gracias.
Favorite Movie I Would See If Only A Local Theater Would Take Care of My Kids.
I couldn't pick one. It'd be like asking one of Jennifer Garner's kids to pick the single candy they'd like to try at Dylan's Candy Bar. If you haven't been allowed to exercise free choice in an area of your life, the sudden introduction of options is overwhelming. I'd want to see The Master because I love cults, I'd want to see End of Watch because I am a student of drug busts, I'd want to see Sleepwalk with Me because I went to college with that guy, I'd want to see The Perks of Being A Wallflower because I'd like some answers. Or maybe I'd just save it all up for Les Miserables, so that I could throw every element of once-in-a-lifetime-ness at the moment.
Favorite Book I Haven't Read Yet.
Easy-peesy. It'd be This Is How You Lose Her, by Junot Diaz. Diaz most recently wrote The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao, which is a book with a long title and an incredible story. If you haven't read it yet, fix that. Start reading it immediately. When you're done, tell me how much you loved it. Then join me in a squeal of delight at the thought of reading brand new words from Diaz.
The most disappointing thing to me about Diaz is that he's not an in-law. I'm incredibly frustrated with my husband for not being related to him.
Favorite Country Fair in My Future.
I think I'm throwing too much excitement at you in one post. I'm sorry. If you can handle it, keep reading.
My husband is pleased to announce that THIS WEEKEND, WIFE AND CHILDREN, WE WILL BE TRAIPSING TO UNITY, MAINE TO ATTEND THE COMMON GROUND COUNTRY FAIR! I know that Unity, Maine sounds like the setting of a Stephen King novel, and maybe it is. It is also the upcoming site of a Diaz Family (sadly, no relation to any of the Junot Diaz family branches) Adventure. There will be antiques. There will be livestock. There will be no-sugar, all-organic, locally-sourced food. Best case scenario: we come home with a butter churner. Worst case scenario: we come home with an alpaca.
Favorite Conversation I Keep Overhearing.
If I had a nickel for every time I hear someone say "They say it's going to be a long, snowy winter," I wouldn't have to worry about how we're going to pay for our heating oil. But hey, maybe I'll have an alpaca in the backyard. According to Wikipedia, alpaca fleece is a "lustrous and silky natural fiber," even warmer than sheep's wool.
Does anyone know how to shear an alpaca?