So thrilling, in fact, that readers are clamoring for more.
Sticking with the US Weekly rip-offs, they want me to share 25 Things You Don't Know About Me.
Get out your calculators. 25. Here we go.
- My favorite city in the world is Paris. I think it's because I feel so at home amongst skinny, chic, chain-smoking women.
- My mother did not allow me to wear jeans to school until late middle school/early high school. She thought they looked too "dirty." As a result, I was deemed too "losery." Thanks, mom.
- I have probably drank a total of 10 sips of beer in my entire life.
- I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter when my husband and I were staying in an alarmingly sketchy hotel in Madrid. After we celebrated with a high five, we pushed the dresser against the door and listened to one woman's very long, very loud story as she talked in the bar downstairs, all night long. Ahhh....memories.
- One time at church, I left to use the bathroom. I came back and my skirt was tucked into the back of my tights. Which goes to show that God's sense of humor is only so-so.
- I worked as a law clerk for a judge who happens to be Donald Trump's older sister. She looks just like him. Except with a bun.
- At one point in my life, I thought I wanted to be a DEA agent. After some unsuccessful attempts at kicking in doors, I realized that I was better suited for a desk job.
- I have three younger sisters. We assigned maid-of-honor responsibilities over dinner one night. When the youngest sister was 6 years old.
- The boys I had crushes on usually had crushes on one of my younger sisters. I married the first guy who bucked that trend.
- My husband was my first boyfriend. (Please refer to numbers 2, 3, 5 and 9, above.)
- I was not allowed to take any time off from work for my wedding. (Please refer to number 6, above.)
- I transferred colleges after my freshman year. Because I was a complete and utter disaster during my freshman year.
- The girl who was randomly assigned as my roommate during my sophomore year at my new school was a big Winnie the Pooh fan at the time. She became my best friend anyway.
- In law school, I cross-examined a witness in my Trial Advocacy class with Janet Reno, former Attorney General of the United States, sitting in as the "judge." She is a very cool lady and it was a very cool experience.
- The only item on my bucket list is to run a marathon.
- Talent makes me cry. I cried watching my sister play basketball, I cry whenever someone sings something beautifully, I've cried watching theater even though nothing sad was happening, and I've cried watching a touchdown pass being thrown. People amaze me.
- Frustration makes me cry. I've cried when I couldn't figure out how to solve a problem, I've cried when someone I'm talking to is being completely obstinate, and I've cried at the thought of someone continuing to make the same mistakes. Intransigence confounds me.
- The first movie I cried at was E.T. Sobbed.
- I am highly superstitious. I knock on wood, have lucky clothes and jewelry, and make a wish at 11:11, 1:11, 2:22, etc.
- My wallet was stolen at Barnes & Noble and my luggage (for a trip later that afternoon) was stolen out of my car one morning at Home Depot. Inside the luggage was a lucky watch from my grandmother. Those were unlucky days.
- The most memorable/life-changing books I have read were from my adolescence: Little House on the Prairie, Little Women, and Gone with The Wind.
- During a canoe trip I took during summer camp, I became mortal enemies with a goose that crossed our path. My friend who was in the boat with me still likes to talk about it. I don't.
- After my husband and I picked our son's name, we realized it was the Spanish version of my sister's husband's name. We apologized.
- The only thing I've ever won was bingo. $20.
- I am the inspiration for the Most Interesting Man in The World commercials by Dos Equis.