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Friday, September 7, 2012

Dear Abby: What About You?

Last week, I riffed on a popular column from US Weekly when I described the contents of my bag.  It was a thrilling, edge-of-your seat type of literary experience.

So thrilling, in fact, that readers are clamoring for more.

Sticking with the US Weekly rip-offs, they want me to share 25 Things You Don't Know About Me.

Get out your calculators.  25.  Here we go.

  1. My favorite city in the world is Paris.  I think it's because I feel so at home amongst skinny, chic, chain-smoking women.
  2. My mother did not allow me to wear jeans to school until late middle school/early high school.  She thought they looked too "dirty."  As a result, I was deemed too "losery."  Thanks, mom.
  3. I have probably drank a total of 10 sips of beer in my entire life.
  4. I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter when my husband and I were staying in an alarmingly sketchy hotel in Madrid.  After we celebrated with a high five, we pushed the dresser against the door and listened to one woman's very long, very loud story as she talked in the bar downstairs, all night long.  Ahhh....memories.
  5. One time at church, I left to use the bathroom.  I came back and my skirt was tucked into the back of my tights.  Which goes to show that God's sense of humor is only so-so.
  6. I worked as a law clerk for a judge who happens to be Donald Trump's older sister.  She looks just like him.  Except with a bun.
  7. At one point in my life, I thought I wanted to be a DEA agent.  After some unsuccessful attempts at kicking in doors, I realized that I was better suited for a desk job.
  8. I have three younger sisters.  We assigned maid-of-honor responsibilities over dinner one night.  When the youngest sister was 6 years old.
  9. The boys I had crushes on usually had crushes on one of my younger sisters.  I married the first guy who bucked that trend.
  10. My husband was my first boyfriend.  (Please refer to numbers 2, 3, 5 and 9, above.)
  11. I was not allowed to take any time off from work for my wedding.  (Please refer to number 6, above.)
  12. I transferred colleges after my freshman year.  Because I was a complete and utter disaster during my freshman year.
  13. The girl who was randomly assigned as my roommate during my sophomore year at my new school was a big Winnie the Pooh fan at the time.  She became my best friend anyway.
  14. In law school, I cross-examined a witness in my Trial Advocacy class with Janet Reno, former Attorney General of the United States, sitting in as the "judge."  She is a very cool lady and it was a very cool experience.
  15. The only item on my bucket list is to run a marathon.
  16. Talent makes me cry.  I cried watching my sister play basketball, I cry whenever someone sings something beautifully, I've cried watching theater even though nothing sad was happening, and I've cried watching a touchdown pass being thrown.  People amaze me.
  17. Frustration makes me cry.  I've cried when I couldn't figure out how to solve a problem, I've cried when someone I'm talking to is being completely obstinate, and I've cried at the thought of someone continuing to make the same mistakes.  Intransigence confounds me.
  18. The first movie I cried at was E.T.  Sobbed.
  19. I am highly superstitious.  I knock on wood, have lucky clothes and jewelry, and make a wish at 11:11, 1:11, 2:22, etc.
  20. My wallet was stolen at Barnes & Noble and my luggage (for a trip later that afternoon) was stolen out of my car one morning at Home Depot.  Inside the luggage was a lucky watch from my grandmother.  Those were unlucky days.
  21. The most memorable/life-changing books I have read were from my adolescence: Little House on the Prairie, Little Women, and Gone with The Wind.
  22. During a canoe trip I took during summer camp, I became mortal enemies with a goose that crossed our path.  My friend who was in the boat with me still likes to talk about it.  I don't.
  23. After my husband and I picked our son's name, we realized it was the Spanish version of my sister's husband's name.  We apologized.
  24. The only thing I've ever won was bingo.  $20.
  25. I am the inspiration for the Most Interesting Man in The World commercials by Dos Equis.


  1. Re: #23. Said Uncle likes to think that naming was done on purpose. That baby diaz was in fact named after him. Dont have the heart to tell him it was all by chance

  2. No. 9 is a lucky guy.Although the sisters are not so shabby either...

  3. I can relate to you on so many of these, but number five is the kicker. My episode was at school in the fourth grade. Dress stuck in tights. I still get the racing heartbeat every time I think of it.

    1. Oh man. I feel for you. I'd take my church experience over your school one.